STUCK ON A FAIRY TALE.. continued

Picture Credit: www.favim.com

There is no such thing as the perfect guy! So after my heart wrenching disappointment with a fairy tale disaster, you will expect that I would have learned my hard lesson. That was hardly the case. I remained stuck deeply within my fairy; a hopeless romantic. I hung life around finding Prince Charming again; comforting myself that previous Prince Charming was just a total asshole. After a while of unsuccessful search, Cinderella was to grow weary.  At this point, I was certain every guy that crossed my path is an asshole. “How hard is it to find a Prince Charming, really?” In my mind, I was to remain true to finding him while these bloodsuckers drop dead already. 

Lol. The thing about searching for the perfect guy is; you’ll miss all the signs when the right guy comes along. I call him Mr. not-so perfect. He won’t be riding a chariot or have his crown on all the time. He won’t buy you flowers, unending and tell you all the things you want to hear him say. Instead, he will smack you when you do wrong and fold you in when he sees you are rolling in a deep. But because he won’t be doing these things Prince Charming’s way, you will miss it. Just as you will also miss the fact that all these time, expecting and waiting on a fantasy and romance, you never bothered to find out if you are capable of providing this same privilege— a Princess Charming—romantic, loving, giving etc.

My eyes were wide open and it stayed so, expecting my chariot to show up at some point, to carry me into my happily ever after. While I waited and waited, I started to miss all the important points right in front of me. As this happened, I grew weary and impossible. Suddenly, all those beautiful things about Mr. not-so perfect that made me open my arms to him slowly fades into insignificance.  Inevitably, he became the villain I needed to get rid of in order to continue my search for my perfect Prince. And once again, I failed to learn; that the smacking when I acted like an idiot or the random chat about how our boring day went—was the candy in a shitty wrapped box. A pretty wrapped box may be enough to reel my girlfriends into utmost envy but the candy was all I needed to fill me up. “The candy was the price, not the pretty wrapped up empty box”

A happily ever after is supposed to be his endearing selflessness, the practicality in his ways, the solidness in his securities; my soft-heartiness, contributing generosity, humor and support—some of the awe that synced us. Those random moments that are meant to dig depths into a union; those are what make a true happily ever after. That was the true happily ever after!

“Mr. Perfect is just that guy perfect for you”. Realising these too late, I am just sorry it had to have taken me this long. But, more than sometimes, a hard kick is all a wheezing car needs to restart properly. I hope my Not-So Perfect and Not-So Prince Charming finds himself his Not-So Happily Ever After with a female wise enough not to have caught the fairy-tale syndrome.

“The problem with looking for perfection in a world made beautiful by imperfections is a failure to own true beauty.” Deeyssertflower

STUCK ON A FAIRY TALE

Picture Credit: www.favim.com

I cannot finger what particularly leads into how girls become completely stuck on a fairy tale: an ideology that a charming young man will show up one day and change their world. “Arhhh..spin me around atop a chariot until I’m consumed in a banquet of flowery love. Life will be full and happy... and complete and we will live happily ever after.”

Oh Yes! This fairy tale dart didn’t miss me most especially. I have been so stuck on this fairy tale syndrome for a long time. This misguided fantasy saw me through most of my teens and youth. With my eyes closed in on this unrealistic idea of love, I found myself tending towards believing that the things I wanted were the same as the things I needed- The Perfect Guy.  

 “Oh the Perfect guy”. He is wonderful, thoughtful and romantic to the core; says beautiful things while he picks up your bills without a flinch. He says beautiful things to you and keeps it coming with flowers. He is textbook- taking you always to Marchenland. And your world is absolutely perfect.

But what we fairy-tale females fail to understand while infatuated with this Prince Charming ideology is that, everything you want is barely anything you actually need. And that that other guy who seems like the villain; annoyingly worrying you about silly details of your regular life or hitting you when you screw up; is the sheep in wolf’s clothing.

For years, I sort out my prince charming. It was all I trusted would make my world spin and perfect- my love story worthwhile. And while I waited for that time to come, I fantasized about how our first meeting will play out. My favorite one was how we will bump accidentally into each-other in a grocery store after which he will pick up my bills and drop me off home. I was pretty wound up prepping myself to plunge into a chariots wait.

And then I found him. My prince charming was perfect. He led me into an adventure, I never imagined existed. I experienced life through a different spectrum while he flaunted me to all his friends and whoever cared to see.  I felt special about myself with his unending romantic gestures and ballads- and my world spun. Everything was perfect and I, completely blinded by love, would see nothing else. Meanwhile, in this blindness, I failed to see that I was allowing myself to get lost.

Idealism prevailed over a reality of common or shared interests, of mutual growth beyond the superficial nuances. So, I missed to see that all the passionate things that interested me barely mattered or concerned my prince charming. Or that the union had not any deeper worthwhile contribution to my life. Such that, even though I was getting what I wanted, I was not receiving any greater influences to foster growth or development. Such a story was to end badly and with a sad realization that prince charming never left an actual dent in your life. For the longer I hung around Prince Charming, the less depth was found. Soon enough, the blind folds came off—just as of any bad breakup. Alas, Prince Charming once thought as perfect; was only just a finely wrapped up empty box. The lies, infidelities, and what more, you never knew were there, starts to surface. And if that’s not the case, evidence that you were never even compatible in the first place, clears it up. --“Not a single shared interest”.

To be continued...