THE UGLY TRUTH ABOUT STAYING IN LOVE

 



The ugly truth is that the more intimately you know someone, the more clearly you'll see their flaws. That's just the way it is. We meet people, make friends or fall in love never really taking into account the significance of making these connections. We fall in love and fall out, running on our heels like a rat escaping a burning bush. The ugliness we had seen or experienced chasing after our backs; while we never look back. We like people on surface values; for the things we hope to get from them, what they have to offer us, how they look or how they fit beside us to show off to friends. This is why marriages fail, why children are abandoned, why friendships don't last! We all seek happiness; a happy start, the happy life. Heck, even a happy ending. But life isn't ever truly like that! That is just the ugly truth! That the things that bring us such profound joy, are exactly the same things that will threaten the greatest pain or sadness. All the force needed is a turn to the back cover, or a flip of the coin.

Let me try with a slightly wise explanation. We may all prefer heads... I mean heads of a coin! Others, prefer tails. But can we pick and choose which side of the coin we keep? THE COIN - that insignificant value no one likes to drag along or brag about. But how it saves us that desperate moment we need "just 5 extra cents"--we leap for joy!. Staying in love is just like owing a coin, you feel you don't need it until you do. You toss it aside even though you have that 6th sense that it has value beyond which you can ever very well quantify. Regardless of this 6th knowledge, owing a coin is such a " huge nuisance, heavy to carry and makes us look poor". In other term; weak, vulnerable, angry, sad, unnecessary baggage, drama, pain, stress...... We just want to give it up any chance we get. Yet, should out of the blues, our bank accounts read an extra cent, we leap for joy, again!

You might think you love someone until you see the way they act when they are out of money, or under pressure or hungry, or going through a bad phase, for goodness's sake. Love is something different. It is not just finding someone with common interests, or finding someone who makes you so happy "you cant stop smiling about" or falling in love. Love is staying in Love. Love is acceptance. It is deliberate!

It is choosing to serve someone and be with someone in spite of their filty heart. Their filty hearts you may never get to see until after you've crawled out of the honeymoon phase. Love is patient and kind. It does not run after the honeymoon phase is over. Love sees beyond the ordinary eyes of physical beauty or kind. And because of this, love is hard! It is pain and sacrifice, it's seeing the darkness in another person and defying the impulse to jump ship. It is looking in always, even when looking threatens to blind. I have a wise friend who calls being in a relationship "a deep connection where the other person becomes an extension of you and you're in sync such that you almost breathe the same type of air". What more, for Love?

It may start off with the glamour of what can be seen or achieved but for it to remain love, it must breed and stay. Especially at a time one may fail to nurture it or all the odds defies common sense. Again, Love is hard! Love is that affection which threatens to get lost but somehow manages to find itself. This is why marriages fail, why children are abandoned, why friendships don't last! Why everyone complains that life is hard! Yet air fights to keep us to breathe and thrive!...It is patient and kind. For love may spoil but you must never run.