#FAKENAIJANEWS: BEGGAR SUES CHURCH FOR RESTORING HIS SIGHT

#FakeNaijaNews launches with a bang!..too bad the beggar doesn't want to see this, you should!

CITY DIARIES...."Equality propaganda"

It all began on a rainy Sunday Morning. I was preparing to go to church when I heard a loud commotion outside. Being a typical Nigerian, I dumped what I was doing and ran outside to get my own story straight from the source. Lo and behold, what was happening? A young lady was fighting with a young man. It has always been said that women were the weaker sex...or so the saying goes. Not in this case. The fair lady, who was a bit on the plump side, had the man firmly in her grips and was hammering blows upon blows on his back. It looked so funny, that I had to go closer to know what had caused the fight. People, naturally, had filled the scene and some were even shouting encouragement for the lady! "Give am upper cut babe!".."Hold him amu??" I had to drag a young girl of about 14 years to the side to know what caused the fight. 

"Ah aunty! The man talk say he no go marry the aunty, after him don give am belle" said the girl in our local English also known as pidgin. "What do you expect from the youths of today?!" Growled an older man in anger, "See how this young lady is embarrassing herself and her family all in the name of love" he stalked away furiously and I watched bemused as the lady in question kept screaming, "Emeka, you must marry me!!" And the so-called Emeka panted back, "God forbid". Some of the spectators found it amusing, the others, embarrasing. As I went back to prepare for church, one thought kept hammering in my head; How does this Lady think Emeka would marry her now that she has proven that she could beat the living daylights out of him?

 Ladies, bone all the talk about female equality and such, In the bible, Jesus tells us to be submissive to our man and for the man to love and cherish his wife. Being submissive doesn't mean you have to bow and scrap for your man.No!

In Proverbs, in the Bible, talked about a good wife. Showing in public that you can handle a man doesn't make you power mike. Though you might be hailed at that time, most guys there would not be given one million naira to be married to you. No matter how beautiful you are.

Most of our women are working in high class organisations and some are also known to put the food on the table. Helping your husband isn't a sin. Demeaning him for it is! When you buy bread, you would make sure you announce it...."Remember I've been buying bread since this week"...said in a snide tone, while eyeing your husband as if he is the only one consuming bread in the whole of Africa. 

Everybody deserves to be treated with respect, who more, than the person you exchanged vows with. Young ladies, trying to prove your worth to the society while stepping on peoples toes will get you nowhere. A lady is supposed to be seen and not heard. But today, we hear them before  we even catch a glimpse of them.

Living in the city is like living in a circus. Too many lights, noise, people and damn too many activities. Everybody is screaming "look at me!"..and when society doesn't look at you, you try to find ways to make them look. I am a city girl at heart and I love the hustle and bustle of it. However, let the city be your playground and not the other way around...

"Samantha!" Joy screamed as she saw me. I smiled, while cringing inwardly. Joy is a nice girl, but with such a sunny personality that one can't help feeling burnt after an encounter with her. Almost immediately, I turned towards her, "Guess what?", She was practically hoping on her toes. Her big brown eyes was shining and before I could say "What?" She pounced!..."I'm getting married!!" She squealed. 

"Congrats dearie!" I cried happily. Truly, the man must be an angel. 

"And guess what again?" She said, grabbing my shoulders painfully. I winced but kept my smile in place. No way am I answering.

"You are going to be one of my asoebis'!!"

WHAT?!!! Here we go again.

Join Samantha Okolo as she tackles life in the big city!...with various experiences and downright funny events with a moral lesson always hidden.

By Vivian Barths