SHE WAS THE MOON

She was like the moon

Part of her was always hidden

The rest was even so, never willing

She was a silence;

That echoed beyond hear

She stamped her feet without a sound

It was like she was never there

She imprinted marks on hearts

But made it dreamily so, it was never clear

Her light spread through a Milieu

The parts of her hidden,

Carefully guarding a mystery

She was like the moon

The rest of her;

Sneaks in only at murk

Mostly for a few hours mock

QUIETLY OBSERVING...PART 3

Picture Credit: www.dailymail.co.uk

Click Here for Part 1:

http://deeyssertflower.blogspot.com/2014/09/quietly-observing-part-1.html

Click Here for Part 2:

http://deeyssertflower.blogspot.com/2014/09/quietly-observingpart-2.html

Four months has passed since we last gathered. And in those four months, a lot has happened. The last gathering pretty much wrapped up as soon as I’d left. I lied I needed to pick up Jimi from Jazz lessons. Jazz lessons! Seriously? I dialed my phone again, what time is it in Paris right now? Sadie has been on this her forced Paris trip with Alex way too long already!. This time, Alex had undertaken the grand gesture as a plea to make up for his affair with Bukky. Well, that and also because he had been requested to come along with his spouse to the Financier Business Bruncheon being held in Paris. It was a huge deal for all Investment Bankers whose eyes now watered beyond the shores of our local financial sectors.

Bukky had fed me almost all the pieces during her recent visit to me in a bid to buy over my vote, as being the most level-headed one amongst the ladies.  While she tried to make me understand that the affair with Alex was just a onetime mistake, I wondered how she still managed to have all the details about Sadie’s ongoing Paris voyage.  

“I know you were devastated about finding out that Ariel was screwing Jomo”. I’d concluded, telling her that I totally got her, and that all the escalations of her affair was all in Ariel’s bid to cover her own track.

“Yes” she had responded through phony teary. Apparently, Bukky had been a little aware of Jomo’s affair with Ariel before the event of Sadie’s Soiree but was pretending to be in the dark until she gathered enough dust on her accusations. Sadie had told me she witnessed the feud which had started with Bukky querying Bella for betraying her for Ariel; if being business partners didn’t mean they were friends enough. At the instance, Sadie was visiting Bella to confront her about Laye’s paternity but with disguise of helping out with the upcoming event planning. Ariel had shown up to see Bella, a few minutes after the feud started. Things had escalated thereafter to spilling of hidden guts. Ariel, in defense mode, attacked Bukky with her affair with Alex. Sadie thought she died that day. In Kodi’s words, “It must have been something rather to be witnessed”.

Everyone knew Ariel’s been on a banging spree with all and sundry since her heart-wrenching split with Jordan. No one was shocked “Jomo finally happened”. However, everyone seemed genuinely shocked with Bukky’s betrayal. Well, except me of course. Bukky has just always been jealous of Sadie and the life she had. And in all her quest to measure up, she has made herself so blinded to Jomo’s misdeamors with the material gains of the relationship. Yet, even that could never be enough for her.

I had watched her with no remorse at all. “See ehn.. Let me just be straight with you. All the ladies, well except Sadie whom you've betrayed, have screwed Jomo. I can’t even believe you genuinely can’t see it that he is a total Casanova.”

She had not seemed too surprised, “Even, Chioma and Kodi?”

Apparently every one of the girls but Sadie had been aware of Chioma and Kodi’s escapades. Kodi had invariably confided individually with all the girls. And I had thought we had a special connection on that matter. It was Chioma’s first experimentations with girls. She had been so embarrassed to discover everyone had been aware of the affair; she finally found a reason to take a vacation.

I had nodded, “You recall Chioma’s surprising win with the Chief Gbademose case? Yeah, that was sorely due to some extra help from Jomo”. For the first time, I saw Bukky turn pale. Yet, I was still utterly convinced the information wouldn’t compel her to end her ties with Jomo. She hasn’t.  

For as much as I couldn’t stand the facts of Bukky and Alex, I had mostly visited Sadie since the feud incidence just to keep her locked within my trust circle. I just hope Sadie doesn’t find out I hosted Bukky at my house; I ought to be on her side of this beef. She is the only one I need desperately to be on my side. Chioma is going to kill me, if otherwise. She hasn’t called me yet which implies she is still in the dark about Jimi’s paternity and I hope to keep it that way. Why won’t this call stop going into voicemail? I don’t even understand a single word of these Francais jargons.

Bella had even tried making me stay quiet about Laye’s paternity but then I didn’t even have to tell. The words had fallen from Bukky’s lips to my sister’s ears when she’d gone over to the latter’s house to condole her on the “episode”. She told me she had been unable to help herself when she had to listen through Eny’s weeping words; “I may still be able to convince Koku that having kids is not such a bad idea, if only God would just take away this epilepsy that’s crippling my wings to battle it with him”.

As I’d listened to Bukky voice her irrefutable excuse for spilling, I almost believed it but for the knowledge that she is naturally just incapable of retaining any kind of information. How she even got the information still beats me. However, I’d felt relieved that I wasn’t confronted anymore with telling Eny. Eny isn’t still talking to me yet; since she found out that I’d known about it for a while and even about the affair Koku had had with Bela five years back. Sigh. She’ll eventually come around, I hope. As for what it was worth, I found out she finally ended all ties with Koku. Good riddance! Regardless of recent events, I’d begun to question if he is ever going to make Eny a respectable woman.

I jumped in excitement to my beeping phone. I caught the device before it slipped off my unsteady grasps.

It was Chioma. I frowned and cleared my throat.  

“Hello Biola”

“Hey, Chioma! Ahan no work today? This one you are calling me, am I safe?” My palms had begun to sweat.

“Biola, who is Yah-man?” a very angry voice blurted through the receiver.

“Huh”, instant panic took over my body. Sadie told on me!

“I said who is Jimi’s father? Who is Yah-man?”

Oh My God! I stared at my phone hoping it could transport me suddenly to somewhere safe; maybe Paris. Why did Sadie do this to me? A huge lump the size of Jimi’s fat Trust Fund from Chief Madu, suddenly grew in my throat.

“Biola, are you there?”

The End!

......Watch-out for the Epilogue...

CITY DIARIES...THE SURGICAL WAY

"Do you think my boobs are small?" Tina asked, as we tried to lounge by the pool on a sunny Saturday morning. I flicked a glance at her so-called small boobs, which were encased in a leopard print halter bikini. "Why do you ask" I replied. No be my mouth dem go hear say ogbono dey draw. She shifted uncomfortably on her lounger. "Bode says they are small and that I should consider boobs enlargement" She replied, a little embarrassed. I was surprised. Bode didn't strike me as a man who put much stock on how stacked his girlfriend was. "Since when did he start complaining" I wanted to know. It has barely been 5 months since they started dating and this was the first time I am hearing of this kind of situation. 

"Hmmm, my sister, the first time we made love when he saw my breast I noticed he paused before he continued on his way" he said. 

"So? He might have paused to better appreciate the view"

"That's what I thought at first oh, but he told me later that he had always thought I had bigger boobs"

I laughed, "You no tell am say na padded bra?" I said. She didn't laugh along, but continued reading her magazine. I felt I had disappointed her somehow. 

Remembering the episode, I felt like I should investigate this. I cornered Temi, a male colleague of mine at the office. "Temi, how far? How's your latest babe?" I asked. Temi cocked an eyebrow at me. "Why the sudden interest?" He wanted to know. "Nothing. Just want to ask a question" I countered. 

"Oya ask, I have things to do"

"Don't snap. Uhmm..would you consider surgery for your girlfriend?"

"What kind?"

"Cosmetic"

He frowned in thought. "Hmm, it depends sha. If I thought she needed it, like maybe her butt needs a little lift, why not?" He said, grinning at me. I stared at him. Temi? He isn't even handsome or anything, yet he would want his girl to go extreme for him?!

"Hmm, you wont believe the hell Angela went through in her marriage because her husband said she wasn't the girl he married." Monalisa said, as she tried to prepare a meal in my kitchen later that day. I had posed the same question to her. Monalisa can't cook to save her life, so I was watching her intently before she burnt down my house. Angela is Monalisa's friend from the University. 

"After giving birth to 3 kids, how can Emeka, her husband, expect her to remain the same?" I wanted to know. Mona shrugged. "The babe was in such a state of panic eh! She fasted, went on a vegetable only diet, even started visiting the gym! All she got for her trouble was that she became fatter sef" Mona said, stirring some kind of sauce in a saucepan. I was fascinated. Angela was always so cool and composed, I didn't even know she was going through this nightmare.

"She told me Emeka threatened to leave her or he would bring another woman into the house and that they no longer even have sex because Emeka says he's disgusted by her stretch marks and flabby body' Mona continued. 

Men! They can be so heartless. A woman's body can obviously not remain the same after childbirth for various reasons. She would have to deal with saggy breasts after the baby suckles, stretch marks from the pregnancy and weight gain. Some people are lucky wit their metabolism or their genes. I know a woman who has 5kids and she still has the skinny frame of a teenager! While there has been teenagers that have the look of married women. But really, is surgery really the way? A guy that says he loves you, then tells you that you could do with a tummy tuck should take a ride to "BS" land. You love me, you love my warts too. I am not saying that ladies should indulge after marriage however, No! But come to think of it, that's what most of we ladies do. They think that after he put the ring on your finger, its a done deal. No Sistah! Marriage is something to be worked on. Don't allow your husband have to ask, "Where is the woman I married?"; be the Woman!. Pamper yourself once in a while---which could be a blessing---visit the gym. Deck yourself in nice clothes, even when you are at home. Don't ever let your man forget that he has a sensual woman waiting for him at home, or some other lady out there would do all these and more for your man.

I paced casually around the kitchen and peered at the concoction she was mixing on the gas cooker. "Wetin be that?" I asked, peering curiously at the dish. Mona grinned mischievously, "It is a Spanish meal I saw on the Internet; Spanish Omelette". 

"Like fried eggs"

She rolled her eyes. "Spanish Omelette" she stressed. 

"I'll take your word for it". Personally, I thought it looked like over burnt fried eggs, but I wisely held my tongue. Mona was very touchy about her cooking. "But would you consider surgery to keep your man" I asked her. She burst into startled laughter. "Surgery keh?" she scoffed, arms akimbo. "So if I die on the operation table, what would I tell God? That I wasn't happy with what he gave me abi? Babe, leave that thing, I am not changing anything for a man oh" she concluded, turning back to her food.

I wonder what Tony would say if I should pose the question to him, I mused, as I tried to eat the inedible food now on my plate. Well, I shrugged, Why wake a sleeping lion. He might not even be thinking about it. I do not wish to put the thought in his head. And even if he was... dumping him would be too good an action to take. 

By Vivian Barth

THE WONDERING VOYAGE

Picture Credit: drbillwooten.com

I drove past so many lives,
Wondering what stories each face could tell
I wondered about the lives I left behind
And about the lives I was out to find
I wondered about the guy who chewed with his tongue
If he knew why his path should cross,
with the blind man hawking his cross
I wondered about what my mother had said
And if  she realised she'd resounded a broken record,
More than twice
I wondered about my little ones
And how they'd wept
For no reasons when I left;
If they knew what they did,
Or did it only because they were young
I wondered about my aunt's widespread smiles,
And about time and age;
The marks they leave on a frail face
I wondered about my estranged bloodline;
And the warmth their embrace might feel
I wondered for the friends I'd kept;
About the ones that I would meet
I turned to my side;
A cranny looking man shinning dirty gold tooth at me,
I wondered about such joy that held his smile
I turned to my journey;
Wondering all over again

QUIETLY OBSERVING....PART 2

Picture Credit: www.dailymail.co.uk

Click Here for Part 1:
 http://deeyssertflower.blogspot.com/2014/09/quietly-observing-part-1.html

“I am so sorry I’m late. The traffic was bloody and I couldn’t get off the gym on time” Ariel trooped in like a thunderstorm in frenzy. She was sweating profusely, hair tightly knotted in and still in her gym clothes. She took in everyone present and took a sit beside Bella, gulping down the bottle of water in hand. I thought I witnessed a knowing glance exchange between them. I can’t really tell. She smiled a long smile at Kodi and started to tease Bukky about her larger buttock and how she needs to hit the gym quickly. Bukky had stood up to fetch herself a tumbler.

Kodi resumed her gist; something about an annoying neighbor of hers that tries to compete with her fashion style. “I tell you Bukky, She would put on the exact same dress I had on the week before and come on to me with a fit about it. I don’t get her deal”.

“She can only try so hard to catch-up with your style just like the rest of us”, I interjected loudly.

Bella seemed to have relaxed a bit with Ariel’s arrival but she still carefully avoided my gaze. Sadie had just prepared more Chapman; I stretched out my glass as she refilled empty glasses. I must admit she is the finest host there is. My thought travelled as it watched her fill Ariel’s glass while they exchanged brief pleasantries. I wonder if Sadie still feels guilty about her affair with Jordan during her Brazil trip, two years ago and if she still beats herself up about being the reason Jordan had broken off his engagement with Ariel.

I recall Jordan had pleaded with me to convince Sadie to give him a proper chance with a relationship. I hadn’t informed Sadie although I do not quite recall how I’d responded to him. I think it had been something similar to telling him how absurd he must be for assuming Sadie would ever leave Alex and her child to be with him.  I quite recall it was a few days before he broke it off with Ariel and relocated almost immediately to Dubai. In a quest to fight his case to win Sadie and redeem himself, he’d told me Ariel was bi-sexual and he couldn’t spend the rest of his life with such a partner. Bi-sexual or not, why would anyone ever cheat on a female as beautiful as Ariel? I’d realized soon enough my reasons for never liking him; Oliver Twist!

Chioma, who had been busy with her blackberry all the while, was now frowning as she observed Kodi and Ariel giggling about something.

“The move was too epic” Kodi concluded her gist giving Ariel a gentle squeeze on the arm. I should believe this is the point where Chioma explodes into a million pieces or her blackberry would very well assist her. I watched in bemusement as she squeezed the poor gadget tightly between tensed palms. Kodi had also let on that she had had a thing with Ariel before she and Chioma started off six months ago. I still haven’t figured what compelled her to feed me with these details.

Ariel was now still absorbed with what Bukky was saying concerning her and Bella’s idea for an event that “would shakeup Lekki like a thunderstorm”. Ariel reached out to untangle a twist in Bukky’s hair as Bukky smiled back a thank-you and  resumed her gist. "Hmgh!", I heaved, making a sound at the end of my tongue. Chioma also seem very interested in the venture. I can bet she is seeing different currencies in million figures in her head right now. The thought made me laugh. I took a large gulp of my drink, turned and stopped myself short in my excitement. Ariel and Bella had exchanged a knowing glance. I caught it this time! The sudden urge to vomit overwhelmed me, this time not because of Spanish desserts.

Bella knows?! She is aware Ariel and Jomo, Bukky’s fiancé are having an affair?! The same billionaire Jomo who everyone but Bukky is aware chases almost about anything in skirts. I shifted in my seat. Who everyone but Sadie has had a piece of! Or is it that Ariel knows about Laye’s paternity?

Bukky’s phone beeped, she stared at it for a second or two and cut-off the incoming call. She was suddenly pissed about something. She looked up and stared blankly at Bella, who has resumed the gist with Chioma and Ariel; not blinking an eye at Ariel, nor Bukky nor me. Ariel was fondling with the hem of her gym blouse, just as she always unconsciously does whenever she is in an awkward situation. Bella caressed the back of her neck in exasperation and almost at the same time our eyes caught each other. I nervously gulped down the rest of my chapman and scanned the room. What’s going on!? What is Ariel frowning about?

My eyes finally fell on Sadie. She was still smiling, radiating in her new mantilla, one of the many traditional head dresses she’d brought back from Spain, which has made her entire body frame seem less petite. Ariel had made us all believe her breakup with Jordan had been because he was being forced by his father to marry the Finish girl whose father had an ongoing merger with Jordan’s father’s company in Dubai, at the time. If I recall distinctively, was it not during this same period of Jordan’s “merger-fool passage” that Sadie announced she was pregnant with her second child, Kim?  Hmmmm… I glanced quickly back at Ariel who is still lost in her frown and awkward moment.  Sadie was approaching my direction, a few empty tumblers clasped between her right hand fingers. “I really hope Eny will be fine” She patted me on the back with her free hand, almost eyeing Bella as she exited into the adjoining kitchen. I raised a suspicious eye at her back.

Chioma had caught our exchange, although she couldn’t have heard Sadie from way across the hall, where she sat. She was trying effortlessly to hide her suspicious stare as she continued her chatter with Bella. A cold chill took over my body. Has she found out!? Did Sadie tell on me? That Jimi’s mysterious father, whom we all fondly named “Yah-man” because I had told all of them that I had been too drunk to remember and all I’d recalled saying while we had drunken sex was “Yah man, lehs jus do! Yah man, do!, Yah Yah”, was her [Chioma's] father, Chief Madu.

I grabbed my handbag. It was time to leave!

                                                                                                                                                 

 To be continued…….

FINDING SLEEP.....

Picture credit: www.research.chop.edu

I laid my head to rest 

Thoughts of the day visited

Gossiped with me awhile

And said goodbye!

Then a dark cloud took over,

I never saw what happened next

Picture credit: says.com

Quietly Observing: Part 1

Picture Credit: www.dailymail.co.uk

She loosened the twists in a slow and gentle caress through the sharp edges of her dark woolly hair. She has been repeating this process for more than I can tell anymore. Twisting a portion of her short hair with her fingers and then untwisting them again after she’s done. I don’t get it; why she needed to go through that process with her hair repeatedly. How aware is she that she looks scattered and mad almost all the time. “Chekene cannot even be bothered I swear”, I caught Bukky saying. I have lost the trail of the gist at hand being distracted by her hair pulling. She had been saying something about two sisters who were dating the same guy at the same time and had confided in her separately. I frowned and took another sip of my drink. Sadie truly does make a mean Chapman.

She [Sadie] has just returned from one of her numerous trips, this time to Spain with her two kids and had not stopped yapping about it all afternoon. It was becoming a ritual; Sadie hosting afternoon hangouts every time she returned from a trip, mostly just to show off her newly acquired wears and kitchen skills. This time she had learned how to make a Spanish dessert she called “Horchata de Chufa” I had barely been able to stomach the damn thing. I can almost tell Chioma and Bella are suffering through as well. I choked on my Chapman and gave off a muffled “cough-laugh”. No one seemed to have noticed. Everyone’s ears were glued to Sadie’s lips now, picking at her every sentence. 

“Oh Bukky it was surreal. I am glad Alex couldn’t make it o. I met this fine German guy, Mustak, he was vacating alone”. She paused and stared around in that way only Sadie could; in the satisfaction that all ears were on deck, on her gist-ship.  

“Nothing happened though. You know, because of the kids, but the flirting was real”, She blushed and gave off a weird giggling sound.

“Oh oh” I thought almost out loud. I wish I could stuff her with a pillow just so she can shut up but all I did was smile. I like seeing her happy like this; her trips keep her in that happy shield for a while. It kept her blind to facts likes Bukky’s misdemeanors. If only she knew how busy lives had been in her absence. But then, Sadie smiling were rare moments like these. I took another sip of my sweet chapman.

“If only I could have closed on this Badejo case on time, I would have been able to take on a vacation”, the workaholic Chioma was on the stage now. I could tell everyone was rolling eyes in their minds as I was doing. She always has a work excuse. Where vacation or a hangout was involved, all hope was lost with Chioma. Still I can only wonder how she makes out time to sneak into hotels with Kodi. I glanced briefly in Kodi’s direction, at the far-end left-edge of the stretched out dinning, seeming to be truly enjoying her Spanish dessert.

I guess body no be fire wood after all. Why Kodi had thought it wise to confide in me that she likes girls still beats me. Or was she trying to turn me with style? I stared at her hoping I could somehow see through to her soul. She is the quietest one amongst us, well after me of course, usually just taking everything in while legs crossed and stretched upwards like she was The Queen. She can choose to turn me on her hairdo, nonetheless; I really should meet her stylist soon!. I swallowed my Chapman with a sheepish smirk.

 “Biola, how’s your sister, Eny, feeling now? Bukky had called me telling me all about the severe epileptic episode she had at the Theatre”.  

Of course she did, meanwhile, in bed, screwing your husband! Does she ever shut-up? The Gist-monger who always has everyone else’s gist, but her own, to tell. “Oh she’s fine Sadie”, I smiled at her and continued, “Still in shock however. But she’ll be fine; she has Koku at her side”.

“Oh Koku is one of the few of the good men we have around. I wish her well. That was how Mustak was telling me about this niece of his he lost to Cancer….” She trailed off as usual, back to talking about things that concern Sadie alone.

I suddenly noticed Bella has been unusually quiet all day. Not to be so unusual since I bet she has enough demons to contend with. The one with the gift of gab has suddenly lost her voice. I hissed silently. I scanned Sadie’s dining hall, a little surprised that no one has noticed. My gaze intensified and fell back on her face. She is clearly choosing to avoid meeting my eyes.

I had been aware she had a short fling with Koku while his long-standing relationship with my sister seemed to be hitting the rocks, five years back, but I’d not been prepared for this recent shocker. To think she had made us all believe Laye is her niece. The die is cast! When Jimi, my sweet chatter-box of a daughter, had told me Laye called Bella “mummy” during one of their evening piano lessons at the Theatre, I couldn’t produce the right reaction. I had confirmed my fears when I found it out, from their class teacher at school that Laye takes on Koku’s last name, Williams. 

A lump formed in my throat while I continued to stare at her, now with near disgust. How am I going to tell Eny that her longtime boyfriend is actually also the father to her favorite student?

To be continued…….

CITY DIARIES...."SINGLE IN THE CITY"

"So when are we going to dance at your wedding" Aunty Nkem said, as I came to sit beside her on the couch. I froze. Where did that come from?

"See most of your friends from secondary school are already mothers, you are here chasing money", she continued in a huff. I gave the television my full attention. There was no way in hell I am going to answer that question. Was it even a question? Nigerians could be so damn rude! Aunty Nkem is my Aunty from my mother's side of the family and we are close. So I can tolerate some things from her. But not this oh! I munched on my popcorn as I tried to listen to Anderson Cooper on CNN.

"Samantha is it not you I'm talking to?" She queried, I sighed..."Yes Aunty?"

"You are old enough to even have 2 Kids by now!"

I stifled my laughter. Yea right.

The single issue is nothing new to most single people, but the pressure is usually more on the ladies. By the time you are 20 years of age and you don't have a ring on your finger, your relatives would be on your case as if they feared something was holding you back in the spiritual realm. You would be taken to various pastors who claim to have the gift of seeing visions and they would prophesy that you have a spiritual husband who doesn't want you to get married and blah, blah, blah....I remember last year, my mother made it her sole mission in life to introduce me to all her friends' eligible sons! I was shuttled from one house to another under one pretense or another.

"Today is Chido's birthday"

"Remember Ndidi? You were so close to him while you were growing up"

"I haven't seen Agnes in ages! Let's go and check up on her"

And so on and so forth. I finally caught on to her scheme and ended it immediately, but not before everyone had obviously caught on that I was a desperate chic, in need of a husband. And mind you, not just any husband oh! He must be handsome, a graduate, be rolling in money, know important people, well spoken...the list is endless. 

Single pals, have you noticed we all have a "list" of what we want in our prospective partners? How attainable is that list? We place high criteria for our prospective spouse to live up to, when we know nobody is perfect. You can see a girl writing that her man must be tall, dark, handsome, caring, intelligent, God fearing, not stingy!..All this characters in one person?! Please ask yourself, if you are a tall girl and you are making this kind of list...I pity for you!. How many tall guys you wan find, that would be taller than you oh?!

Short girls have it easy; most guys, even the short ones are taller than they are. Ladies, we shouldn't marry a guy based on these kind of stupid criteria. He might be all those things but within, he would be a monster. You should search for something more concrete in a man, like...

Is he God fearing?

A good father figure to your children?

Does he like kids?

God forbid you marry a man that beats you, or comes home more drunk than a fish. Is he short tempered?

Does he worry when you worry?...Little things that are actually bigger things in the grand scheme of things. I wanted a man alright, but at God's time and place. 

"Do you know how Cynthia captured Richard? Aunty Nkem continued.

"No" I muttered, not interested in the least. Cynthia was a distant cousin of mine that I didn't even correspond with, but trust Aunty Nkem to have to have the gist of every member of our family tree.

"She used to cook Egusi soup every Monday afternoon and take it to him in his office for his lunch", she said, smiling when I turned to her to gasp. What?!

Can someone say extreme!!! Why would I ever want to do that?

"She told you that?" I asked dubiously.

She rolled her eyes, "Of course not! It's Richard that told me. He said he was so impressed by her cooking and her humility". 

I choked on my laugh. Cynthia? Humble? Those two words didn't go together. People would hide all their flaws when they want something, but once they have it...Let's ask Richard about Cynthia's humility a year from now.  

"What's funny?" Aunty Nkem wanted to know.

"Nothing Ma. Nothing"

By Vivian Barth

IF I COULD CHANGE YOUR MIND..

Picture Credit: www.goodreads.com

There you are with your perfect way;
You have got that little shine in your eyes
To hear one word would make my day
But there is no room for me in your life.

I'll try to move on...
But your perfect way,
Have got this little child asking why

The world keeps spinning
But my heart stops beating
Is there still no room inside?

Oh you have got me down on my knees
Oh and in my mind,
I can see;
How perfect everything could be!
But you won't give us a try

If I could change your mind
How would you want me?
Would you say you need me?
Because I need you now.

If I could change your mind
How would you hold me?
Would you stay forever?
Or just leave me here to drown.

By Ese Okopie

CITY DIARIES..."The Aso-Ebi Wahala"

"How much?" I practically screamed down the line. There was a brief pause at the other end, then Joy responded, "Just 30, 000 naira na, its correct lace oh and remember that you would get a souvenir". Souvenir my ass!!! At best, it will be a dinner plate, if one even gets lucky enough to get anything. I honestly didn't want to be a part of any aso-ebi, but Joy has been begging me for the better part of 3 weeks now, to do it. When I finally agreed, the little sneak had to go on to tell me that the material would cost me 30,000 naira. Was I working at Central Bank? Or did  I win a lottery that everyone but I, knows about?....

Joy, ah, its too expensive oh!", I whined into the receiver.
She laughed, I thought that your boyfriend, what's that his name again?....
"Tony", I muttered.
"Ehen! Tony, shebi he works in an Oil company? She tittered.
"So? Does that mean he owns it?" I said, annoyed. I hated asking Tony for anything. Before the guy go release money eh! It was just too long a process. By the way, the relationship was still new, and I didn't want him thinking I was in it for the money...even though I actually am!

"Joy, can't you give me discount price? You know how hard things are for me right now. And Tony be aka gum oh". She was silent for a while. "Ok, take it for 28,000 naira. Its because of you oh, don't tell others I reduced money for you oh", she said. I rolled my eyes. Only 2,000 naira reduction. Well, it was something. We exchanged pleasantries for a while and then she hung up.

What's the craze with aso-ebi anyways?
I've seen women starve themselves,all in the craze to afford to wear aso-ebi on that D-day! The Yorubas ought take-on the first prize in such department. I am yet to find an occasion which a Yoruba man will host that will not involve aso-ebi. "Owambe!", isn't that what they call it? They'd prefer to go to an occasion in bathroom slippers so far as they are wearing the colour code of that day!

"That's to show that you belong na!" Tina,a friend of mine, had iterated, as we relaxed at a bar after work [a small construction firm]. "If you attend a wedding and you are wearing the aso-ebi,it makes you seem closer to the couple", she continued,as she eyed a group of working class guys who shared the next table to us. Two of the guys were damned drooling hot if i'm permitted to add. "But the couple already knows me! What concerns me with the guests?" I had quizzed. I was looking for a reason not to buy the aso-ebi. Tina had finally turned her eyes back to me "Sam,better stop talking like JJC. You know its also to raise money for the couple na"

"I thought Ikenna has pots of money?" I said, referring to Joy's fiance. She rolled her eyes,"its even the rich people that charge more for aso-ebi. They want to limit the amount of people that would buy it" she said,sipping her fruit punch. I mused on what she had just said. It was true. The more expensive the aso-ebi,the more exclusive the wedding. Hmm..

"And by the way,the way you are lamenting about money,one would think your bobo has gone on leave" Tina said,eyeing me speculatively. I rolled my eyes,"leave Tony out of the matter. The guy is a real tight wad." I said. Her eyes grew round,"really? But the way he spends on you..." "He just wants to make an impression" i interrupted. Tony had a chip on his shoulder that I was surprised hadn't tripped him since. He was all about making a good first impression.

As we had chatted away,my mind kept returning to the aso-ebi matter. Its true that African women loves being the centre of attention and an exclusive aso-ebi wear is one more way to do that. Aso-ebi has grade- level. I am aware Joy also has aso-ebi that goes for as little as 2,500 naira,but the material would obviously be low grade.hmm..I wouldn't want to fall my hand at the event!

I've heard some ladies go to extreme lengths just to get an aso-ebi. Some use weddings as an avenue to meet the potential Mr right! So,one has to look good to meet good people. But I don't really think killing ourselves all in the name of buying aso-ebi material is the way forward! My neighbour once told me that she didn't eat for two days in order to save up money to afford buying an aso-ebi material for a wedding. I had stared at her in shocking disbelieve and she had laughed at the expression on my face.

"I'd gained more from buying that aso-ebi than I spent" she had gushed.

"Hmm,how?" I couldn't imagine what she could have possibly gained.

"How do you think I met that rich oil tycoon that funds all my shopping trips in Dubai?" She had winked as I laughed knowingly. 

"OMG! The hot one just winked at me. Turn to my 11' o clock! 11' o clock!, Dark, Bearded!" Tina had muttered shyly as she tapped me in a struggle to contain her excitement. I had jolted back to the present from my reverie and forced to locate Tina's 11' o clock.

...I wouldn't want to fall my hand at the event. Maybe there really was something about the Aso-ebi business after all!! 

 By Vivian Barths

SCRIBBLES: "ME AND MYSELF"

I consider myself;
I consider myself an entity,
Liberated for me
Yet stays a part of myself
It allows me some things to decide
Sometimes,
Rather more than I should allow myself

And even though I linger off the choosing side
I let myself try out me.
With some to choose;
With others to let choose;
I can decide for myself

And if it ends up back to me
Then we can choose to agree
That I'm me to finally decide for myself.
The chosen side!
The chosen one!
An entity;

Me and myself

#FAKENAIJANEWS: BEGGAR SUES CHURCH FOR RESTORING HIS SIGHT

#FakeNaijaNews launches with a bang!..too bad the beggar doesn't want to see this, you should!

CITY DIARIES...."Equality propaganda"

It all began on a rainy Sunday Morning. I was preparing to go to church when I heard a loud commotion outside. Being a typical Nigerian, I dumped what I was doing and ran outside to get my own story straight from the source. Lo and behold, what was happening? A young lady was fighting with a young man. It has always been said that women were the weaker sex...or so the saying goes. Not in this case. The fair lady, who was a bit on the plump side, had the man firmly in her grips and was hammering blows upon blows on his back. It looked so funny, that I had to go closer to know what had caused the fight. People, naturally, had filled the scene and some were even shouting encouragement for the lady! "Give am upper cut babe!".."Hold him amu??" I had to drag a young girl of about 14 years to the side to know what caused the fight. 

"Ah aunty! The man talk say he no go marry the aunty, after him don give am belle" said the girl in our local English also known as pidgin. "What do you expect from the youths of today?!" Growled an older man in anger, "See how this young lady is embarrassing herself and her family all in the name of love" he stalked away furiously and I watched bemused as the lady in question kept screaming, "Emeka, you must marry me!!" And the so-called Emeka panted back, "God forbid". Some of the spectators found it amusing, the others, embarrasing. As I went back to prepare for church, one thought kept hammering in my head; How does this Lady think Emeka would marry her now that she has proven that she could beat the living daylights out of him?

 Ladies, bone all the talk about female equality and such, In the bible, Jesus tells us to be submissive to our man and for the man to love and cherish his wife. Being submissive doesn't mean you have to bow and scrap for your man.No!

In Proverbs, in the Bible, talked about a good wife. Showing in public that you can handle a man doesn't make you power mike. Though you might be hailed at that time, most guys there would not be given one million naira to be married to you. No matter how beautiful you are.

Most of our women are working in high class organisations and some are also known to put the food on the table. Helping your husband isn't a sin. Demeaning him for it is! When you buy bread, you would make sure you announce it...."Remember I've been buying bread since this week"...said in a snide tone, while eyeing your husband as if he is the only one consuming bread in the whole of Africa. 

Everybody deserves to be treated with respect, who more, than the person you exchanged vows with. Young ladies, trying to prove your worth to the society while stepping on peoples toes will get you nowhere. A lady is supposed to be seen and not heard. But today, we hear them before  we even catch a glimpse of them.

Living in the city is like living in a circus. Too many lights, noise, people and damn too many activities. Everybody is screaming "look at me!"..and when society doesn't look at you, you try to find ways to make them look. I am a city girl at heart and I love the hustle and bustle of it. However, let the city be your playground and not the other way around...

"Samantha!" Joy screamed as she saw me. I smiled, while cringing inwardly. Joy is a nice girl, but with such a sunny personality that one can't help feeling burnt after an encounter with her. Almost immediately, I turned towards her, "Guess what?", She was practically hoping on her toes. Her big brown eyes was shining and before I could say "What?" She pounced!..."I'm getting married!!" She squealed. 

"Congrats dearie!" I cried happily. Truly, the man must be an angel. 

"And guess what again?" She said, grabbing my shoulders painfully. I winced but kept my smile in place. No way am I answering.

"You are going to be one of my asoebis'!!"

WHAT?!!! Here we go again.

Join Samantha Okolo as she tackles life in the big city!...with various experiences and downright funny events with a moral lesson always hidden.

By Vivian Barths

  

ADUN....

Picture credit: thestudentroom.com 

The silence echoed. Only to be interrupted by the dancing sounds of the printer. It was calibrating again. Actually this was the twelfth time it had done that since morning. I can’t quite recall what Segun had said during his last maintenance visit about why it needed to do that. He had been grinning sheepishly at me again on that day. Nneoma had coined an absurd theory that I had faked a faulty printer call as an excuse to see him. She hadn’t thought that was my intention. However, she was certain that was what Segun thought. How delusional of him. How can he even begin to assume I’d ever date his type?

I picked up the control and turned up the heat by two degrees. It has finally stopped drizzling but the weather was still chilled. I took another sip of my tea, and listened for my boss’ movement. I picked up on Nneoma’s muffled giggles coming from her cubicle across the wing. That chic hath no worries in the world so long as she has her phone loaded with airtime and in hand. “At what time?” and then thunderous giggles followed as her voice echoed through the silence of the empty wing. All the other staff had been compelled to attend the ongoing sales training scheduled for the Fridays of this month.

Nneoma and I are scheduled to attend next week Friday’s with the ACC wing staff. I stared blankly at the spreadsheet of inventories, on my desktop screen that I needed to balance. I listened for my boss’ movement, realizing Nneoma was no longer in her seat. I glanced quickly at the wall clock. She must have gone out for one of her numerous lunch dates. Those are the only times she never bothered to enquire about my skipping lunch.

I reclined my seat until I was within earshot and could now hear the sound of shuffling papers coming from his office. He is so fond of skipping his lunch. I pondered for a second whether to call in and remind him it was lunch break but stopped myself instead and dropped the receiver. I am not sure what mood he is in right now. He yelled a lot especially in the mornings and then some afternoons. I have barely ever found him yelling at anyone in the evenings, however, and have never understood this. A lot of times I wonder what makes him so grouchy. It must be that girlfriend of his. I hissed. He hasn’t screamed at me this morning for resuming an hour late. I deliberately avoided him all morning. He hasn’t called in to yell either which is panning out as a good sign. My phone beeped with an incoming message but I ignored it. My ears remained concentrated at spying on my boss. The printer started to dance again as it recalibrated. A deafening silence followed. Most of staff must have gone for their lunch breaks, my tummy churned at the thought of food. I stared blankly at my desktop screen. Today was one of those days when my brain refused to process. Maybe it was because of the difficulty I had experienced getting to work this morning. “That useless bus conductor”, I cursed under my breath and hissed.

I let my right palm fall faced-up to my chin as my elbow rested at the edge of my desk. I retained this position and allowed my mind spiral towards the sounds of footsteps coming from my boss’ office. He must be pacing around on a call. It must be that his girlfriend. I rolled my eyes. What was a hunk of a man like him doing being worked up by a bonga fish of a female? The things I have seen in this Lagos, since arriving it last year from Ife.  Tiny skinny over-bleached girls riding Range Rovers, controlling big men and boys of Lekki. I sighed. Whatever happened to men’s desire for real meat and an original ebony reserve? I’m not even saying I’m all that fine but at least I have everything a guy would want in a woman; round firm buttock, average height, glowing chocolate skin and a C-cup firm breasts. Severally, I had caught Segun staring at them longingly. Even Akin that likes to form he can never be engaged in office romance can’t take his eyes off them. If he thinks I believe for one minute all his mean façade towards me then he is as dumb as I’d initially thought about him.

Good thing we are placed on different schedules for the training, I can’t deal with all that ego drive on free time. The pacing had stopped. I wonder what he is up to now. He’s probably viewing the news with those brown glassy eyes of his that reflected each time the light fell on his face. Unconsciously I sighed, bracing myself. He has the strongest and finely defined set of jaws I have ever seen in my whole twenty six years of living. I wish he could smile more often. He probably would if bonga fish told him more often how much his cute pink lips fitted finely with his face.  I bet she doesn’t even realise how his hair curls up whenever he forgets to groom over the weekend or how he smells of sweet tidings [grape vines] in the mornings and aired cornfields in the afternoons. Does she even fathom how alluring he is; born and dressed only to walk the covers of every prestigious magazine? I gave off a heavy sigh.

Am I the only one who sees these things? I let my eyes travel around the empty desks until it fell flatly on the wall clock. It’s past 3’o clock, Nneoma hasn’t returned. I guess she noticed he wasn’t his usual active self today and has taken it as a good sign to extend her break. I bet she has noticed other things too. Sometimes I wonder what she stares at whenever she looks at him with those pale unreadable eyes of hers. He can never be attracted to her type; she’s way bulkier than I am and he seems to prefer bonga fish. I rolled my eyes and sighed for the umpteenth time. Oh how I would do all the nicest things to him without a second thought.

I had not heard his footsteps until he was standing over my desk, his eyes shining at me with exasperation. I quickly adjusted myself. Oh crap, it was too late to act on busy, I thought as I stopped the disoriented mouse shuffling. He was observing me with a quiet disposition, one of our Client’s proposals at hand. “Adun, your lateness of recent is unacceptable” he seemed mildly irritated by something else. “Chief Koku just called in complaining that the proposal hasn’t reached him. What the hell were you occupied with that you failed to remind me of the deadline?” he stared at me quizzically. His brown eyes shun diamonds. I got lost as my heart caught at a million emotions at a time. He called me by my first name. He has never called me by my first name. I have always been Miss Ajayi until now. I cleared my throat, “I am so sorry Mr. Adio-Moses”. He hasn’t stopped staring at me as I responded with a plea. I can’t tell his mood or what is running through his mind.  He seems distracted by a distant thought. “I am off to a meeting and I shall close work from there” the proposal hit my desk with a hard and loud slap.

“I am so sorry Wale,” I mumbled under my breath as I watched him exit the room. Something is very off about him today. I dashed quickly at him and stopped him abruptly in his steps. He stared at me solemnly surprised. A few seconds passed while I allowed myself settle into my new found boldness. “Sir, are you okay. Do you need anything I can do for you?”. “Err....” He paused, in a struggle fit on what angle of response he should take. “Oyinkan… er.. Miss Dawodu has left me.” He was gauging my reaction. “She… I found out this morning that she is getting married to an old acquaintance of mine” We stared at each other, his despair now glaring. I want to hug him but I took his left hand into mine and gave his palm a gentle squeeze. He hadn’t taken his eyes off me, observing me, a glint of a smile in his eyes. Oh God! We dropped each other’s hands almost at the same time. He cleared his throat. “Have a lovely weekend, Adun”. He was off.

Bonga fish has left him. I thought repeatedly as I watched him leave. Bonga fish is gone! We just had a moment alone and he called me Adun.  I wished I had hugged him instead. Tight enough until he realizes it that he doesn’t need her. That she’s not the girl for him. I braced my heart with my mind suddenly feeling an urge to dance or faint or do both. 

.....Watch-Out for a Sequel.....

Going Poetic for Her

Picture credit: bryanferry.com 

My lungs are heavy,

my breath is thick,

my heart keeps wishing,

God be with me.

I wrote it on paper,

with a colourless ink,

wishing it would clean off,

any time I blink.

The clock keeps ticking,

Her voice is getting louder,

and louder She is talking,

though I can't hear Her.

She will always be there,

I heard the old farmer say,

Just look at Her in the eyes,

For this, too, shall pass away.

DeeyssertFlower© inspiring an upcoming greater poet: Ugochukwu Ejikeme.